Since it’s the summer and there are plenty of gorgeous women walking around in tight little outfits; I decided to give you guys some help. I know most of you wouldn’t have the nerve to approach a Mistress or a woman. So for my last show on cockradio, I decided to give you guys some pick up lines.

I surveyed my girlfriends for some of the funniest, cutest and most pathetic pick up lines they have ever gotten. Being a gorgeous sensual Mistress, I am surrounded by hot friends. So I was able to compile a list of hundreds of pickup lines.

Now before the show started, I issued a disclaimer. Use these lines at your own risk. You may have drinks thrown at you, be hit and punched, chased by an angry mob, and even arrested. Do not blame the Mistresses! And one of the sissy boys pointed out that pain sluts would love being beaten by women they just met.

If you are very attractive most of these lines will work for you; no matter how cheesy they are. And you really wouldn’t need these pick up lines anyway.

I included the basic ones, like “heaven must be missing and angel” and ” your parents must be bakers because you have a set of buns on you.”  And others like ” are those space shorts, because your ass is out of this world” and ” what’s a slut like you doing in a classy place like this” and ” Help the homeless, take me home with you.” I also love it when a guy wants to drink my bathwater or worship my body.

Along with my personal favorite: ” Listen, you and I could exchange numbers. Go out to dinner, and spend months getting to know each other better. Then, we date for a few years, get engaged and get married. We buy a nice house, fancy clothes, expensive cars. Have a couple of kids, and we would be happy for a while. Time would pass, and we start losing the loving feelings we had for each other. We fight all the time, put each other down, and make life miserable for each other. I start dating my secretary, and you start dating the pool boy. You find out about my affair, destroy my things then file for a divorce. We both get expensive lawyers. We fight over the house, the cars, the kids, and the money. Finally after years of battling, we get divorced. We hate each other, our kids are traumatized, and we spend years trying to get over the hurt. Why don’t we skip all of that and just have sex!”